How to Talk to a Parent About Aging

Winter holidays, summer outings, family reunions and any other time your family gets together can be a good time to talk about aging issues with elders. Once the family has had a chance to catch up and relax, call an informal meeting with your parents. Talk to them about the inevitable changes aging brings and find out how they'd like to be helped through the process. Remind them that you only want to help them be in control of the life planning and you need their input.

Here are some questions to ask your parents:
These are just suggestions, but they could be a good starting point for a respectful and informational conversation.

• What is your best case scenario for aging gracefully and with dignity?

• Would you be willing to wear a medical alarm so you can call for help if needed?

• Would you be willing to accept in-home care if it meant you could stay living in your home longer?

• Do you agree that moving to a retirement or assisted living center could help you make friends and relieve the stress of worrying about home maintenance issues?

• Do you still feel safe in your neighborhood, or has it changed?

• When the time comes for a move, would you agree to tour assisted living centers and or nursing homes in the area you will want to live?

• Would you consider living with an adult child?

Knowing what your elderly loved one wants ahead of time is far better for everyone, and the only route to this desirable outcome is communication and the acceptance of reality. If your family is volatile or has difficulty communicating, a professional may be of assistance with mediation.